“Peace is the condition in which conflicts are dealt with and resolved in respectful, life-affirming ways.
Peace can be achieved only when people have tools for resolving conflicts in productive ways.”
C o n f l i c t c o a c h i n g
You are a leader or people manager
You are confronted with a difficult situation with a collaborator, in your team, department or organization.
You would like to address the conflict with wisdom, courage and insight.
You need an extra pair of eyes, and are looking for insights, anchors and tools.
You are also prepared to explore your part in the situation.
you are an HR manager or professional
You want to intervene in a specific conflict situation in a quick, adequate and proactive way.
You want to bring clarity in the complexity of a conflict situation.
You need a sounding board to explore requests for help when managers are confronted with conflictual situations.
You want to explore what you can contribute in your role as HR and which interventions can be helpful.
you are involved in a conflict situation
You have a conflict and want to explore how to deal with the situation.
You wish to stand up for what is important for you, and at the same time respect the needs and interests of others.
You wish to develop skills and strategies to engage in a productive conversation.
You want to overcome your fear to speak up and transform your assumptions and blocking thoughts.
You would like the coaching process to support you before, during or after a mediation process.
“While conflict can be a trap of the past,
conflict resolution is an act of the present and the future.”
“Beyond our ideas of wrong-doing and right-doing, there is a field. I will meet you there.”
Why conflict coaching?
At work you are always confronted with people who think and behave differently. Collaboration with the differences is often a challenge.
Organisaties expect you, as a leader, HR professional or employee, to deal with conflict in a mature and constructive way.In reality this is often not so self evident.
However, most people are insecure when dealing with differences of opinion, opposition and tensions.
This provokes all sorts of reactions, such as contraction, fight for your ‘truth’, make jokes, keep silent, express aggression in a non verbal way or explode.
We never really learned how to approach conflicts from a place of calm, to be curious and to respond in a wise and constructive way. This results in a lot of frustration and human suffering on the work floor.
But the good news is: you can learn to deal with conflict!
What are the results of a coaching process?
You look at your situation in which you are stuck from a healthy distance, allowing you to see the bigger picture
You discover what puts you off balance, how you react to the experience of threat, and what the costs of your patterns are
You are able to see your vision as just one perspective on the situation and can construct a omni-partial perspective on the conflict
You grow your empathy with ‘the other side’ and connect to what is really important for you
You make the shift from blaming and expecting the other to change, to taking responsibility for your thoughts, feelings and behavior
You experience choice and options and can offer a response from a place of calm, courage, curiosity and wisdom
You learn how to express your needs and wishes in a constructive way and can set clearer boundaries
You can engage in courageous conversations and stand up for what is important for you, in respect for the other
You bring movement to rigid habits, patterns in which you are stuck and find new approaches for dealing with conflict
“It is far better to look inward rather than outward for the problem and the solution.”
“Conflict (…) presents threat of one sort or another to the individuals involved and, consequently, parties in conflict will have more difficulty excersing their ability to delay visceral and emotional responses in their conflict interactions.
Yet this is exactly what we are asking them to do in conflict resolution processes. (…)
In conflict resolution work, sometimes we need to go slow to go fast.”
An integral and holistic approach
Conflict coaching is result and future oriented.
We work from an integral perspective, on different levels: organization wide, at the level of departments or teams, the interpersonal and the personal level.
Our vision on development is holistic. We work with different forms of intelligence that you can further develop in order to be more aware of what is happening and to be calm and effective in conflict situations. The focus is on our cognitive, emotional, relational, somatic and collective intelligence.
The aim is always to increase awareness, to discover new choices, to infuse oxygen into difficult situations, and movement in conflicts that seem stuck.
The metaphor of the labyrinth is key. We make a movement from the inside to the outside.
Our approach is contextual because during the process your reality and specific situation is always the point of reference. I challenge you to try out ‘safe to fail’ experiments.
The real work happens outside the coaching space!
Conflict coaching – a process
Please send me the registration form before our intake.
We start with an intake of 1 hour (live or online) to explore your question
Coaching is a process, adapted to your situation, questions and needs.
We pay attention to
- The results you want to reach: focus and objective
- Assessment of the situation: an integral perspective, including all elements that are relevant
- Exploration of the conflict: shift of perspective and increase of awareness
- Scrutinize different options for action: risks and possibilities of the steps
- Experimentation with different approaches: new skills and behaviors, feedback and adaptation
- Commitment: view on the next steps and drawing lessons and conclusions from the journey.
Do you have any questions? Please feel free to contact me!
+32 (0) 486 14 86 33
- Registration form
- Intake (1 hour)
- A coaching conversation is 1,5 hours
- I work a lot online (Zoom platform), but you are also welcome in my private practice (Leuven)
- You can spread the coaching conversations over a period of your choice: brief and intense or over a longer period of time
- The conflict coaching process consists of minimum 5 sessions
Private person: 80,00 eu/hour (VAT incl)
There are different rates for independant consultants and organizations.
Please ask for more information!
My name is Silvia, I am 60 years, mother of three grown-up children.
As a clinial and organisational psychologist I am specialized in working with people in their professional context when they are confronted with personal issues, difficult professional relationships, old pain, disconnection and the limits of free expression.
I have 30 years of experience in the field of organizational and team development and personal growth.
I integrated the many trainings I attended into a holistic way of working.
Gestalt therapy (IVC) – ‘Character Structures’ (Umbra) – ‘The Wise Body’ (Interact) – ‘Focus on psychopathology’ (IVC) – ‘The Wisdom of Conflict’ (Movement Medicine) – ‘The Power of Embodied Transformation’ (Coaches Rising) – ‘Neuroscience for Change’ (Coaches Rising) – ‘Embodiment Fundamentals for Coaches and Facilitators: Leveraging the Intelligence of the Body’ (Embodied Potential) – ‘Embodiment in Business’ (Embodied Facilitator) – ‘Foundations of Embodiment Certificate’ (Embodied Facilitator) – ‘Trauma Informed Practice’ (Ybe Casteleyn) – Introduction Somatic Experiencing (BodyMind opleidingen, NL) – ‘On the Spot: Psychological First Aid’ (Ybe Casteleyn) – ‘Skills training PTSD & Complex PTSD’ (Ybe Casteleyn) – Series ‘Breathing’ (Studio Zuid)
I am also trained as a yoga teacher (Yogalife) with a special interest in ‘yoga-off-the-mat’.
I followed a trauma training (C2Trauma2Peace, De Binnentuin/Weg-Wijzer) and several online seminars (e.g. Frank Anderson; Janina Fisher; Deb Dana).
Currently am I engaged in a 3-year professional training ‘Somatic Experiencing’.
Registered clinical psychologist (registration number 632113541 – Visum 347059)
Member of the association for clinical psychologists VVKP (Vereniging voor Klinisch Psychologen).
Gestalt therapy training (IVC, 2016) & certified Gestalt therapist with the Dutch/Flemish Association for Gestalt Therapy and Gestalt Theory (NVAGT, registration number 2631).
I follow intervision and supervision on a regular basis.
I love hiking in the mountains, traveling with my van, reading, yoga, photography, cooking, music, films and visiting exhibitions.
“We are neurobiologically wired to protect ourselves against threat or loss. (…)
When we are embodied, we are better able to feel, sort through, and process our emotions via physical sensations.
This ability to delay the gratification of immediate expression, in favor of the long-term gratification of effective action, is one important aspect of emotional intelligence.”
“It is not what you are experiencing that’s important, it is how you relate to it that matters.”