“Peace is the condition in which conflicts are dealt with and resolved in respectful, life-affirming ways.

Peace can be achieved only when people have tools for resolving conflicts in productive ways.”

(Paul Linden)

Conflict coaching

For whom?

Conflict coaching is an individual process. There are three target groups.

Leaders and people managers

You are confronted with a difficult situation in your team, department or organization and you want to address difficult topics.

You need an extra pair of eyes, and are looking for insights, anchors and tools and your are prepared to explore your part in the situation.

HR managers and professionals

You need a sounding board to explore the questions that you receive for support in conflicts in the organization.

You want to intervene in conflict situations in a rapid, adequate and proactive way: what can you do in your professional role and when to bring in external help?

Parties in a conflict situation

You have a conflict and want to explore how to deal with the situation. In doing so, it is important for you to respect your personal needs and interests, while at the same time respecting those of other party/parties.

You wish to develop conflict skills, transform your assumptions and blocking thought. You also want to develop personal qualities, self confidence and strategies to address a conflict situation.

You would like the coaching to support you before, during or after a mediation process.

“While conflict can be a trap of the past, conflict resolution is an act of the present and the future.” 

(Tammy Lenski)

“Out beyond ideas of wrong-doing and right-doing, there is a field. I will meet you there.”

(Rumi) 

Why conflict coaching?

At work you are always confronted with people who think and behave differently. Collaboration with the differences is often a challenge.  

Organisaties expect you, as a leader, HR professional or employee, to deal with conflict in a mature and constructive way.In reality this is often not so self evident. 

Many are insecure in dealing with differences of opinion, opposition and tensions.

This provokes all sorts of reactions, such as contraction, fight for your ‘truth’, make jokes, keep silent, express aggression in a non verbal way or explode.  

We never really learned how to approach conflicts from a place of calm, to be curious and to respond in a wise and constructive way. This results in a lot of frustration and human suffering on the work floor. 

But the good news is: you can learn to deal with conflict! 

What are the results of a coaching process? 

You look at your situation in which you are stuck with a healthy distance

You discover what puts you off balance, how to react to the experience of threat, and what the costs of your patterns are

You are able to see your vision as just one perspective on the situation and construct a omni-partial perspective of the conflict 

You grow your empathy with ‘the other side’ and connect to what is really important for you 

You make the shift from blaming and expecting the other to change, to taking responsibility for your thoughts, feelings and behavior

You experience choice and options and can offer a response from a place of calm, courage, curiosity and wisdom 

You learn how to express your needs and wishes in a constructive way and you can set clear boundaries 

You can engage in courageous conversations and stand up for what is important for you, in respect for the other

You bring movement to rigid habits, patterns  in which you are stuck and find new approaches for dealing with conflict 

“It is far better to look inward rather than outward for the problem and the solution.”

(Jeffrey Kottler)

“Conflict (…) presents threat of one sort or another to the individuals involved and, consequently, parties in conflict will have more difficulty excersing their ability to delay visceral and emotional responses in their conflict interactions. Yet this is exactly what we are asking them to do in conflict resolution processes. (…)

In conflict resolution work, sometimes we need to go slow to go fast.” 

(Tim Hicks)

An integral and holistic approach 

Conflict coaching is result and future oriented.

We work from an integral perspective, on different levels: organization wide, at the level of departments or teams, the interpersonal and the personal level. 

Our vision on development is holistic. We work with different forms of intelligence that you can further develop in order to be more aware of what is happening and to be calm and effective in conflict situations. The focus is on our cognitive, emotional, relational, somatic and collective intelligence.

The aim is always to increase awareness, to discover new choices, to infuse oxygen into difficult situations, and movement in conflicts that seem stuck. 

The metaphor of the labyrinth is key. We make a movement from the inside to the outside

Our approach is contextual because during the process your reality and specific situation is always the point of reference. I challenge you to try out ‘safe to fail’ experiments.

The real work happens outside the coaching space! 

Silvia your coach

As a coach I invest everything I can offer you, based on the insights, frameworks and models in the domain of collaboration & conflict that I have integrated in my work. I work with different strategies for organizational, team and personal development. And also more than 30 years of experience in organizations.

Enjoy the benefit of my expertise and background as mediator, team coach, trainer, clinical and organizational psychologist, Gestalt therapist, somatic facilitator and even yoga teacher (!

And maybe most important: my style of working. What characterizes me is a balance between theoretical background & solid practical experience in organizations,  care & honest feedback, professional distance & warm commitment, methodical approach & feeling with what is happening in the here and now.

Conflict coaching: a process

The fitst step is a free exploratory conversation by means of orientation. 

You receive an intake document to prepare for the coaching 

We go through a structured process, adapted to your situation, questions and needs. We pay attention to

  • The results you want to reach: focus and objective 
  • Assessment of the situation: an integral perspective, including all elements that are relevant
  • Exploration of the conflict: shift of perspective and increase of awareness 
  • Scrutinize different options for action: risks and possibilities of the steps 
  • Experimentation with different approaches: new skills and behaviors, feedback and adaptation
  • Commitment: view on the next steps and drawing lessons and conclusions from the journey.  

Do you have any questions? Please feel free to ask for a conversation with me! 

silvia@circlesforconnection.be
+32 (0) 486 14 86 33

Practical information

  • A coaching conversation is 1,5 hours
  • For the moment I only work online (via zoom)
  • You can spread the coaching conversations over a period of your choice: brief and intense or over a longer period of time
  • The conflict coaching process consists of minimum 4 sessions

Fees

There are different rates for private persons, consultant an organizations.

Please ask for more information!