{"id":20518,"date":"2020-09-28T15:47:48","date_gmt":"2020-09-28T13:47:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/circlesforconnection.be\/?p=20518"},"modified":"2026-06-09T17:30:48","modified_gmt":"2026-06-09T15:30:48","slug":"why-mediation-is-often-not-enough","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/circlesforconnection.be\/en\/why-mediation-is-often-not-enough\/","title":{"rendered":"Why mediation is often not enough"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

The limitations of mediation: some hindering factors<\/h3>\n

This first blog is about an important issue I have been struggling with for a while:<\/p>\n

How to help organizations with conflict, when mediation is not\/no longer possible?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Some difficult and disappointing mediations<\/strong>\u00a0these last few years, puzzled me.\u00a0Organizations had asked for mediation, but the projects did not end at the proverbial mediation 'table' and were stopped<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

The reasons were often a mixture of the following elements. Maybe you recognize them?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Neglect and abdication by management<\/h5>\n

Often the tensions had been neglected for a long (!) time, for all sorts of good reasons. In the perception of employees, they had given clear and repetitive signs to management. When nothing seemed to happen, they felt let down, were disappointed and angry. They did not trust the positive intentions of the mediation.<\/p>\n

The request for external support came too late<\/h5>\n

As a consequence, many organizations had waited too long to ask for help. In the meantime, situations had become toxic. For some managers it was hard to admit they should have called for support much earlier. Or that their interventions - with the best intentions - had made things worse (e.g. be patient and wait for the storm to blow over).<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>
Looking at others: blaming & shaming<\/h5>\n

In general everybody was looking at everybody else. That's what people tend to do in difficult situations: someone must be responsible! Unfortunately finger pointing rarely helps. For most people it was hard to acknowledge their share in the problems, and to take responsibility for their behaviour.<\/p>\n

Collective underestimation of the situation: survival mechanisms<\/h5>\n

Leadership had often totally underestimated the seriousness of the situation and was, for instance, not alarmed by the high levels of absenteeism or turn-over. Employees too, had no idea that their colleagues were (also) desperate, angry, fed up, stressed and thinking about leaving the organization. Often people were merely surviving.\u00a0In many cases the organization did not realize that mediation is no longer an option, when a conflict has become violent and destructive.<\/p>\n

Lack of safety and trust: no hope for improvement<\/h5>\n

During individual intakes, participants clearly announced they would come to the mediation, but would not speak a word. Some openly said they were too scared\/intimidated\/vulnerable\/weakened to stand up for themselves. Many had given up hope and were looking for another job or reinforcing their survival strategies.<\/p>\n

Fear for an 'open' group dialogue: mediation as a source of threat<\/h5>\n

Most people were terrified at the prospect of having to speak openly and directly with their colleagues and\/or boss about the conflict. They could not imagine that an open dialogue would help. On the contrary, they feared that a frank conversation would make things worse and result in explosive outbursts, uncontrollable emotions, and destructive rows. Some were afraid of their own anger.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>

<\/span><\/div><\/div><\/div>
<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>
<\/span><\/div><\/div>

Conflictology - a complexity perspective<\/h3>\n

As I was looking for an alterternative, I stumbled upon the word 'conflictology'<\/strong><\/em>. To my surprise, I discovered it was an existing approach to conflict resolution!!!<\/p>\n

Here's a description I found:<\/p>\n

\u201cConflictology is defined as the way of understanding conflicts assuming all related areas, such as conflict resolution, transformation and management, while at the same time it is based on the principles of non-violence as a paradigm opposed to the conviction that violence is the way to resolve conflicts. <\/em><\/p>\n

It is, therefore, a form of cross-disciplinary, comprehensive and synthetic knowledge. Conflictology is the culmination of knowledge that helps us understand conflicts, crises, violence of all kinds, and, simultaneously, the compendium of transformation, intervention and aid techniques, resources and procedures.\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n

(Conflictology: a multi-disciplinary vision,<\/strong>\u00a0E. Vinyamata, Journal of Conflictology, 2010)<\/p>\n

This integrated approach\u00a0<\/strong>of workplace conflict fits with the different perspectives I offer in my work.\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>

Silvia's background<\/a><\/div><\/div><\/div>
<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

beyond mediation: an integral framework and holistic approach<\/h3>\n

Since 2025 I no longer work as a certified, formal mediator.<\/p>\n

Instead, I support teams, departments and organizations to address conflicts and painful events to have 'Courageous Conversations'<\/p>\n

Read more about this intervention and the benefits.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

more about courageous conversations<\/a><\/div><\/div>
<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":20304,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[276],"tags":[],"dipi_cpt_category":[],"class_list":["post-20518","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-conflict-tension"],"yoast_head":"\nWhy mediation is often not enough - Circles for Connection<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/circlesforconnection.be\/en\/why-mediation-is-often-not-enough\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Why mediation is often not enough - Circles for Connection\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/circlesforconnection.be\/en\/why-mediation-is-often-not-enough\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Circles for Connection\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2020-09-28T13:47:48+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2026-06-09T15:30:48+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/circlesforconnection.be\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Groep-breuklijnen-PIXA.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1920\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1440\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Silvia Prins\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Silvia Prins\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/circlesforconnection.be\\\/en\\\/why-mediation-is-often-not-enough\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/circlesforconnection.be\\\/en\\\/why-mediation-is-often-not-enough\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Silvia Prins\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/circlesforconnection.be\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/7c10c169b2ac52025d1631bc04bf3523\"},\"headline\":\"Why mediation is often not enough\",\"datePublished\":\"2020-09-28T13:47:48+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2026-06-09T15:30:48+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/circlesforconnection.be\\\/en\\\/why-mediation-is-often-not-enough\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":6,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/circlesforconnection.be\\\/en\\\/why-mediation-is-often-not-enough\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/circlesforconnection.be\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2020\\\/09\\\/Groep-breuklijnen-PIXA.jpg\",\"articleSection\":[\"Conflict & tension\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/circlesforconnection.be\\\/en\\\/why-mediation-is-often-not-enough\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/circlesforconnection.be\\\/en\\\/why-mediation-is-often-not-enough\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/circlesforconnection.be\\\/en\\\/why-mediation-is-often-not-enough\\\/\",\"name\":\"Why mediation is often not enough - Circles for Connection\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/circlesforconnection.be\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/circlesforconnection.be\\\/en\\\/why-mediation-is-often-not-enough\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/circlesforconnection.be\\\/en\\\/why-mediation-is-often-not-enough\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/circlesforconnection.be\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2020\\\/09\\\/Groep-breuklijnen-PIXA.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2020-09-28T13:47:48+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2026-06-09T15:30:48+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/circlesforconnection.be\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/7c10c169b2ac52025d1631bc04bf3523\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/circlesforconnection.be\\\/en\\\/why-mediation-is-often-not-enough\\\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/circlesforconnection.be\\\/en\\\/why-mediation-is-often-not-enough\\\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/circlesforconnection.be\\\/en\\\/why-mediation-is-often-not-enough\\\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/circlesforconnection.be\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2020\\\/09\\\/Groep-breuklijnen-PIXA.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/circlesforconnection.be\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2020\\\/09\\\/Groep-breuklijnen-PIXA.jpg\",\"width\":1920,\"height\":1440},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/circlesforconnection.be\\\/en\\\/why-mediation-is-often-not-enough\\\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/circlesforconnection.be\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Why mediation is often not enough\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/circlesforconnection.be\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/circlesforconnection.be\\\/\",\"name\":\"Circles for Connection\",\"description\":\"Samenwerken m\u00e9t de verschillen\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/circlesforconnection.be\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/circlesforconnection.be\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/7c10c169b2ac52025d1631bc04bf3523\",\"name\":\"Silvia Prins\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/d51f6f23d5cd6661573dc912606658acc934074e3463daa7be075f69aac5d630?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/d51f6f23d5cd6661573dc912606658acc934074e3463daa7be075f69aac5d630?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/d51f6f23d5cd6661573dc912606658acc934074e3463daa7be075f69aac5d630?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Silvia Prins\"},\"sameAs\":[\"http:\\\/\\\/circlesforconnection.be\"],\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/circlesforconnection.be\\\/en\\\/author\\\/silviap\\\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Why mediation is often not enough - Circles for Connection","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/circlesforconnection.be\/en\/why-mediation-is-often-not-enough\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Why mediation is often not enough - Circles for Connection","og_url":"https:\/\/circlesforconnection.be\/en\/why-mediation-is-often-not-enough\/","og_site_name":"Circles for Connection","article_published_time":"2020-09-28T13:47:48+00:00","article_modified_time":"2026-06-09T15:30:48+00:00","og_image":[{"width":1920,"height":1440,"url":"https:\/\/circlesforconnection.be\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Groep-breuklijnen-PIXA.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Silvia Prins","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Silvia Prins","Est. reading time":"5 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/circlesforconnection.be\/en\/why-mediation-is-often-not-enough\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/circlesforconnection.be\/en\/why-mediation-is-often-not-enough\/"},"author":{"name":"Silvia Prins","@id":"https:\/\/circlesforconnection.be\/#\/schema\/person\/7c10c169b2ac52025d1631bc04bf3523"},"headline":"Why mediation is often not enough","datePublished":"2020-09-28T13:47:48+00:00","dateModified":"2026-06-09T15:30:48+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/circlesforconnection.be\/en\/why-mediation-is-often-not-enough\/"},"wordCount":6,"commentCount":0,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/circlesforconnection.be\/en\/why-mediation-is-often-not-enough\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/circlesforconnection.be\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Groep-breuklijnen-PIXA.jpg","articleSection":["Conflict & tension"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/circlesforconnection.be\/en\/why-mediation-is-often-not-enough\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/circlesforconnection.be\/en\/why-mediation-is-often-not-enough\/","url":"https:\/\/circlesforconnection.be\/en\/why-mediation-is-often-not-enough\/","name":"Why mediation is often not enough - Circles for Connection","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/circlesforconnection.be\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/circlesforconnection.be\/en\/why-mediation-is-often-not-enough\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/circlesforconnection.be\/en\/why-mediation-is-often-not-enough\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/circlesforconnection.be\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Groep-breuklijnen-PIXA.jpg","datePublished":"2020-09-28T13:47:48+00:00","dateModified":"2026-06-09T15:30:48+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/circlesforconnection.be\/#\/schema\/person\/7c10c169b2ac52025d1631bc04bf3523"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/circlesforconnection.be\/en\/why-mediation-is-often-not-enough\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/circlesforconnection.be\/en\/why-mediation-is-often-not-enough\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/circlesforconnection.be\/en\/why-mediation-is-often-not-enough\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/circlesforconnection.be\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Groep-breuklijnen-PIXA.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/circlesforconnection.be\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Groep-breuklijnen-PIXA.jpg","width":1920,"height":1440},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/circlesforconnection.be\/en\/why-mediation-is-often-not-enough\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/circlesforconnection.be\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Why mediation is often not enough"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/circlesforconnection.be\/#website","url":"https:\/\/circlesforconnection.be\/","name":"Circles for Connection","description":"Samenwerken m\u00e9t de verschillen","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/circlesforconnection.be\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/circlesforconnection.be\/#\/schema\/person\/7c10c169b2ac52025d1631bc04bf3523","name":"Silvia Prins","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/d51f6f23d5cd6661573dc912606658acc934074e3463daa7be075f69aac5d630?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/d51f6f23d5cd6661573dc912606658acc934074e3463daa7be075f69aac5d630?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/d51f6f23d5cd6661573dc912606658acc934074e3463daa7be075f69aac5d630?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Silvia Prins"},"sameAs":["http:\/\/circlesforconnection.be"],"url":"https:\/\/circlesforconnection.be\/en\/author\/silviap\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/circlesforconnection.be\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20518","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/circlesforconnection.be\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/circlesforconnection.be\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/circlesforconnection.be\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/circlesforconnection.be\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20518"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/circlesforconnection.be\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20518\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":48370,"href":"https:\/\/circlesforconnection.be\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20518\/revisions\/48370"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/circlesforconnection.be\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/20304"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/circlesforconnection.be\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20518"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/circlesforconnection.be\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20518"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/circlesforconnection.be\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20518"},{"taxonomy":"dipi_cpt_category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/circlesforconnection.be\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/dipi_cpt_category?post=20518"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}